Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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