Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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