Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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