i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
