My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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