At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
