Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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