this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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