im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
