Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
