She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Operation Purity has been aborted
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I will pee on everything he values.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
