remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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