I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize