It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
