honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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