We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
