So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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