new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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