your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
