I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
