and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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