I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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