I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
