I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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