Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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