hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We had sex on a dog bed..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
