i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
