To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
