I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just invented taco cereal.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize