I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Randomize
