Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize