Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
