my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
