Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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