Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.

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  (512): If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch. http://tfl.nu/hocy
  Replies (39) Good night (1200) Bad night (1932)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.

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  (570): You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians. http://tfl.nu/d2bn
  Replies (20) Good night (6051) Bad night (1344)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.

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  (201): just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year. http://tfl.nu/847n
  Replies (8) Good night (3580) Bad night (1030)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..

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  (847): boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this.. http://tfl.nu/2izx
  Replies (8) Good night (2983) Bad night (803)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.

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  (312): My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug. http://tfl.nu/uu90
  Replies (12) Good night (1275) Bad night (3268)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you

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  (740): Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you http://tfl.nu/m5id
  Replies (2) Good night (2174) Bad night (953)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.

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  (307): I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street. http://tfl.nu/3ofi
  Replies (3) Good night (1712) Bad night (663)
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  (916): View more from California

  The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.

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  (916): The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight. http://tfl.nu/8kai
  Replies (6) Good night (1185) Bad night (538)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids

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  (435): Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids http://tfl.nu/id5c
  Replies (13) Good night (1306) Bad night (550)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You left wolverine marks

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm somewhere between sorry and proud

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  (910): You left wolverine marks (1-910): I'm somewhere between sorry and proud http://tfl.nu/d8w1
  Replies (2) Good night (1650) Bad night (553)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.

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  (423): I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT. http://tfl.nu/s23s
  Replies (3) Good night (824) Bad night (378)
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  (562): View more from California

  He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.

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  (562): He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore. http://tfl.nu/2eq9
  Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?

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  (614): Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"? http://tfl.nu/ki2a
  Replies (11) Good night (987) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.

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  (907): I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams. http://tfl.nu/1yko
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"

  (407): View more from Florida

  I was feeling the aftermath of his penis

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  (305): When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa" (407): I was feeling the aftermath of his penis http://tfl.nu/n61i
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (237)

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