We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.