have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
