Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?

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  (845): what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much? http://tfl.nu/y3h1
  Replies (23) Good night (3315) Bad night (585)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

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  (785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face. http://tfl.nu/ktzo
  Replies (26) Good night (3904) Bad night (947)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework

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  (216): whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework http://tfl.nu/56zr
  Replies (30) Good night (5830) Bad night (770)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out

  (440): View more from Ohio

  seek help.

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  (216): I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out (440): seek help. http://tfl.nu/dyh0
  Replies (24) Good night (5168) Bad night (790)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

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  (226): I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/6j12
  Replies (20) Good night (4729) Bad night (1675)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.

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  (902): If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I. http://tfl.nu/orkf
  Replies (37) Good night (8444) Bad night (1429)
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  (408): View more from California

  Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

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  (408): Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick. http://tfl.nu/f6ps
  Replies (8) Good night (994) Bad night (2300)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.

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  (540): Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/c8hf
  Replies (7) Good night (1628) Bad night (664)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?

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  (954): I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol? http://tfl.nu/ys8s
  Replies (15) Good night (2044) Bad night (977)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.

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  (615): i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado. http://tfl.nu/rfln
  Replies (11) Good night (1686) Bad night (662)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.

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  (360): She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone. http://tfl.nu/5hxx
  Replies (11) Good night (849) Bad night (1366)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.

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  (920): No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight. http://tfl.nu/0s2q
  Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (674)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.

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  (443): Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos. http://tfl.nu/iwo5
  Replies (8) Good night (1694) Bad night (386)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  I just got chills

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  (952): What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine (1-952): I just got chills http://tfl.nu/9spt
  Replies (0) Good night (751) Bad night (529)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.

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  (262): I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity. (224): That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/buw1
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (757)

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