im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
