He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED