It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
