drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
