You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
