real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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