Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
