Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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