You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize