so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
