Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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