Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
