Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
