at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
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Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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