he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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