So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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