some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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