hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize