I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
