Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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