Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This is my gift to your gina
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
