Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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