Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
