he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
