i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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