are you so shy because you have an std?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
