Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
