your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
