He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
