She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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