But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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