my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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