i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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