Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
