Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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